


The life is...

by Tofiam



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Fenders, Flashbacks, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 07:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tofiam/pseuds/Tofiam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The life is nothing but a series of momments we remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A little elfen girl was crying. She was so cute, so fragile; how could anyone even harm her?

He felt an anger rising in him. He step out in front of her and before he could have get a hold of himself he hit a bigger boy to a nose. The boy didn’t take it lightly and they ended up on the ground, all legs and arms mixed.

„Leave him!“ elfen girl schrieked. He heard, but didn’t obey.

They had to be torn apart by a magister’s apprentice.

„You like to fight, don’t you?“ he scolded him and grabbed by a colar. „We’ll see if you can transform that wildness of yours into something useful.“


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Children of slaves have never had a nice childhood.

„I will do it,“ he stated firmly. „I will compete.“

„Leto…“

„No, don’t try to convince me diffrently! You wanna live like this? Caged all the time? To be mocked by anyone?“

„And you think he’ll let you to decide conditions?!“ she refused him.

„He will. I’m going to be the best.“

Suddenly she reached out and pulled him closer. He let her hold him like a child which he was no longer. Her long auburn hair tickled him on arms. He felt her small breasts through his thin clothing.

She was not allowed to wear clothes.

„I don’t want you to be hurt,“ she wispered by broken voice. He curled up on her lap and put arms around her tightly. It was not him who was hurt, he thought, when he’d felt all of the bruisses and scars caused by a hard work on her skin.

„He won’t break me,“ he replied. „He hasn’t broken me yet, mum.“

 


	3. Chapter 3

„You’re a dreamer, Leto,“ a kitchen helper spitted out.

He smiled and threw a pomegrate high into the air. They were awfully expensive in Tevinter Emperium. This one was given him by Danarius himself. His sweet bounty.

He caught it and his smile spread to a mischievous grinn.

Here’s the dreamer.

He lifted hand and with all the strenght he threw the pomegrate against a wall. A juice bursted over the wall creating a wet map of his satisfaction. A crumpled flesh with fruitlets fell off to the dust and dirt.

He turned to leave and before that he had seen other slaves crowding to lick and dip whatever was left.

As he saw it, to be the dreamer wasn't so bad.


	4. Chapter 4

A balance beam was vibrating. He forced his breath to calm down. An unfamiliar weight swung behind him. He turned a head slightly to that direction. Creaking of boots gave away a second man.

 _Fools_ , he felt pitty for them. He waited untill vibrations of both sides grew faster and closer to him and then he suddenly, but intentionally fell on chest, legs outbalancing under the balance beam to not accidentally touch the floor. Attackers above him didn't expect such trick and they hit each other with big mallets stuffed with wool as he had assumed. Their screams falling of the balance beam were rather pleasing.

He fetched himself up but he stood up on hands instead of feet. He wanted to show up. Everyone had to see he's perfectly balanced, perfectly calm. There was no other way to sell his skills.

He streched one leg to the air and the other bend in knee. The head he dropped freely.

The balance beam was not shaking this time. The last attacker was careful. He inhaled the smell of a surface beneath him and for a brief momment he balanced only on one hand. It was long enough to recognise by a direction of prevailing where the last man had been positioned.

He waited. He was a perfect weapon, a clever weapon, he had to look like magister's faithful staff – just elegant, motionless piece of wood up to you fire with it.

Thanks to his concentration he heard the last man breathing. He started to slowly put his foot back on the balance beam. Just before standing on it he helped himself with swift swing. He was sprung up and the motion sent his hand to hit directly at opponent's chest. The gravitation did rest of the job when the man staggered out of his breath.

Not before that he took away a band covering his eyes. Everyone was staring at him. Danarius was smiling, well-content. On the balance beam he walked in front of him and acted a bow.

„I won,“ he claimed without a hint of pride.

He knew he would. He fought not over his own life.


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About the lyrium ritual.

There was pain. Nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a good idea about technical side and scientific explanations and pictures about Danarius laughing and pouring blue liquid... but I just can't. And sometimes there is no need to say a lot. So, I get with this.


	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fighting about a place in the sun.

He couldn’t stop grinning. He resisted a blow by wooden sword again. Lazily, with grace which human was not capable of.  
„Elven trash,“ a man hissed. Fenris pirouetted and hit him in kidney with his sword-hilt. The man gasped for breath and fell down on his knees. Fenris moved aside to give him time to get up.  
„At least I’m not crawling in it,“ he replied calmly. The man tried to get to him in one motion. Fenris can manage such movement. He knew that is necessary to almost jump to make it right. Apparently noone passed that knowledge to the guard on knees.  
„You dodge because you can‘t thrust properly,“ the man spitted.  
„Your mother told diffrent last night,“ Fenris sneered at him. He said it because it will piss the man off. Humans were touchy about families. He had none, so he was not concerned.  
Man yelled in rage and attacked with violent series of strokes. And it was bad. Fenris can win if he’d activated lyrium. If he will not do it, the man will exhaust him eventually. He can’t compete with human stamina. Nevertheless he believed to be better. He’s good at finding a weak point and he is more than able to dodge.  
But then the guard made a fatal mistake. He got him angry.  
„You are nothing,“ he said unexpectedly and cynically. „If you had not that pretty face, Danarius would have thrown you out on streets.“  
Fenris felt quicker humming of lyrium in blood and let it light a little. He ducked the sword. Man attacked. Fenris growled, warded him angrily and pointed from high to his shoulder. In the last second man pushed his own blade in the way of blow.  
„You are just a pet,“ he retorted. Fenris knew that he shouldn’t. He knew it in the momment lyrium shone up blue and filled his vision. He knew it when he barged his hand in a breathing chest with a hungry yell.  
World was full of buzzing that won over the shock of guardsmen standing by. Fenris deactivated his markings with hand still throught the other man. A weight of dead body pulled him on his knees. He couldn’t look over, nor move. Empty eyes and a tiny spring of blood in a corner of man’s mouth were mesmerizing. Organs and bones wetly clutched around his forearm.  
Of course Fenris was better. But at what?  
A hand patted him on a shoulder. In self-acting defence Fenris turned on lyrium. The hand grabbed firmly and pulled him out. He smoothly slide off the dead man. Then the same hand caught his chin.  
„Such a mess,“ Danarius spoke.  
_I am sorry. I behaved wrong. I deserved to be punished. ___  
„I am a monster,“ Fenris breathed out instead of his thoughts. Surprisingly Danarius smiled and released him.  
„You are what he said. My pet. My own. I need a new head of guards anyway.“


	7. Chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it occured to me that Fenris is really loveable nick name of Fen'Harel.

He was holding Agreggio Pavali mannerly in both hands and waiting next to his master‘s seat. He was never bored, he could be patient and for more nobody would care about his feelings. He was able to distract his thoughts perfectly, too.  
He imagined picking up Agreggio and with one precisely aimed hit smashing a bottle against Danarius‘ head. A wine and blood dropping on shoulders nad fancy robe. Not only he would have killed Danarius, but he would have destroyed the best clothing of his, too.  
„Fenris, refill.“  
Ahm, yes, _Fen’Harel ___he was, The Dread Wolf, who made a deal with the world and won.  
He moved by conditioned reflex and refilled glasses of guests. Everyone was investigating him with a gaze. He didn’t like it, he hated them. But no one dared to touch him, no one dared to speak to him. He returned to his place and Danarius continued in bussiness conversation.  
He thought for himself that same as Fen’Harel he actually had no clue about conditions of the so called deal.


	8. Chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smart abomination and warrior's yoga? No exactly, but close. And talk about helping.

"I'm coming!" Fenris shouted. Hawke doesn’t knock. Once you’ve invited her inside, she considered that anytime entry. And he didn't mind. The doors were unlocked, so any knocking was a formality.

He stopped practice and on the way down the stairs put on the upper part of his black leotard.

"Hi," Anders said. He was alone. Fenris crossed arms on his chest. "It's going to sound weird, but Hawke asked me to heal your memory. In fact, she said _do it_ , I said _No_ and that’s why she hit me."

Fenris felt a surge of anger. Not for a mage, but Hawke. She wasn’t supposed to say anything to anybody, he didn't need the help and definitelly not a treatment at all.

"The woman has the fastest mouth on the Hightown!" he cursed angrily and went back inside. Anders laughed and continued behind him. Fenris didn’t snap back, nor ejected him. Everyone he knew has come into his life in a way. There in the mansion was nothing they were not allowed to catch a glimpse of. And even if there would have been, he wouldn't be such a crazy and give it to the accessible space.

"I'm sorry," Anders said, as they climbed the stairs, "but I don't think your memory loss can be treated by healing spells."

"I know."

"Don't get me wrong," he started explaining. "It happened during the magic, but it's your subconscious mind that decided the pain is so huge and so traumatic, that the only way is to clear everything before."

It sounded likely. Fenris took off his black top and returned to stretching.

"Maybe your former master, the Magister Nobody, put a hook for that during a spell, but I don't know which or how."

Fenris nodded and concentrated on carrying the weight and centre of gravity from one leg to the other.

"Could you stop doing this?" said Anders a little exasperated.

"Do what?"

"Ignore me?"

"I’m not. I'm talking to you."

"Could you even face me? Or I'll tell everyone about that big birthmark you have on a right hip and I'll leave them to wonder how I learned about it."

Fenris offered a wry smile. Then he lowered his hands and released muscles.

"So let them. And I do like to hear your version for Hawke. " Anders laughed. Fenris was only partly angled towards the mage, even so it was heard like nervous, strained sound.

"In most cases I make those rumours come true. People think I do a lot more interesting things than I actually live through," Anders explained. Then ruffled his hair and avoided Fenris glare. "Okay, I have fulfilled the obligation and remained alive. Seriously, if you want any help, feel free to come. But you have to help yourself mainly on your own."

"I..." Fenris started and turned in surprise. The mage was already leaving. "Thank you," he said. Anders nodded, and without stopping and turning back waved his hand in farewell.

Fenris waited until the bottom door closed with a slam, then continued practising. A small smile settled on his face. He didn’t try to get rid of it. If nothing, Anders was a smart abomination. He could never deny that.

Only he could help himself and he was proud of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters will be quite short. Memories ussually are the same. Please, feel free to comment anything you had in mind. And yeah, English is not my native language so sorry for...let's say occasional mistakes.


End file.
